Good Stuff

February has been a great month for me. I have had a lot of situations come my way that I have been encouraged by.
I've come from writing sort of a dark poem in my last post to finding new bright spots in stabilizing myself physically. (That's what my fibromyalgia doctor calls it...'we need to get you stabilized and comfortable')

1. I am losing weight...frustrating, irritating, pants pinching overflow. I dropped one pant size so far. I think dropping two of the medications that can cause weight gain has helped. BUT also I am able to move more, sometimes work out and I have the clear head and energy to add the right foods into my diet.

2. I got two design gigs this month! I needed that extra income to upgrade my Photoshop and Illustrator. It's fun to actually use the tools I learned in school to work with a client. I am very thankful that I have the freedom to work freelance. When I get depleted physically, it's like the lights are on but nobody is home.

3. I have gained fresh peace as I have learned more about who Jesus really is. I describe it as 'fresh peace' because I didn't have any peace about where I was at in my situation. I didn't like the limits I had to put on myself physically because of a combination of pain, exhaustion and mental fatigue. It was frustrating to be so exhausted that I could form words correctly. I felt like a bump on a log, just sort of watching the world go 'round. Peace isn't a new virtue for me. But I lost it for awhile and now have regained it. What is really important is it has returned with more substance. Hmmm....I think-more beauty. It's more important to hold on to, because not having it left a pain in my heart.
I bring Jesus into the mix because I decided to follow his teachings along time ago.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. "John 14:27 NIV

4. I chose to free myself from some mental crud. Without getting into details, I was holding on to what I call a 'bone of contention' with a couple of people...well, and God. Basically, not being able to come to an agreement about stuff that effected me and not being aware that deep inside I was sort of ticked off about it all the time. I finally said a significant prayer, "Enough is enough! I give up!" Because nothing I was holding a grudge about was worth the fallout. Grudges choke the life out of love.

5. I'm feeling closer to my kids - Emily, Lydia and Josh, more than ever before. We've always been pretty open to discussion. Love has been present. But, I think I'm more adjusted to all of them being capable, thriving adults-with their own minds to make their own decisions. Talking with them has to be one of my favorite past times.