Yesterday while journaling (with actual pen and book) I came to a rather elementary conclusion. Well, to me it seems it should be elementary. I started writing out a few items of complaint and frustration and just stopped in my tracks and thought, 'Maybe I'll start with the positive instead.
I have been stuck in a rut of discontent lately; trying to find my place at my church with my staff role changing drastically (not complaining about that...it's just different to not be in charge of more. Taking on more of a volunteer role.)
Trying to adjust to being in my
Taking on the adjustment of having to admit I'm in mid-life...if I live to be 100.
So! On to the positive. And there is so much even in the latter that I just wrote of.
My family has been at East Hill Church for 22 years. I've been on staff there for almost 17 in some capacity.
Community, Commitment, Consistency and financial stability with yearly raises. Not every ministry family is able to have this. We've been treated well by our church. We've been appreciated...Loved.
Wonderful memories of camps and special events, special trips where Paul spoke and the girls and I met new people and were able to help out.
We've made so many friends and through out the girl's growing up years they had other special adults in their lives to look up to besides us. I think that's really important.
My church is undergoing some major changes with a new senior pastor and he's steering the 'church ship' towards a new healthier direction, in my opinion.
It's just me. Driving the same direction on the same road to the same buildings.
I think this also has to do with me finishing up school and having to be in front of my computer screen so much. I've been pushing towards that goal; sometimes being a serious student means having a small social life.
And, I'm carrying Em in my thoughts and prayers daily. I go between worry to re-handing her off to the Lord-daily. He loves more than I do. He knows what to do to help more than I do.
Anyhoo-I came to lightbulb conclusion that my discontent doesn't have anything to do with where I live or what my husband does for a living or where I go to church...for 22 years. I know we have other adventures for the future. Right now we still have investments to make where we are.
My walk with Jesus, my attitude about the life he's given me-that's what is most important at any stage.
I've own up to my boredom and frustrations. I've really been feeling discontent with being discontent.
Especially since it's pretty much all about me and not my surroundings.
In the spirit of the beginning of Thanksgiving week, I am thankful. I am rich.
2 comments:
That's great that you are trying to think positively. It's almost always good to think as positively as one can. But, discontent can lead to change. Sometimes when discontent bubbles over and you just can't take it anymore it pushes you forward.
Lydi-
You are so right. Discontent can lead to change.
That's what led me to change tracks and become a graphic designer. It's what's finally getting me to exercise more regularly and eat with more discipline.
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